


A familiar feeling

by Mad_Amethyst



Series: Silver's Journey Through Darkness [3]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Canon Disabled Character, Episode Related, Episode XXI. (S03E03), Gen, POV John Silver, POV Third Person Limited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Amethyst/pseuds/Mad_Amethyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John really should have taken his rations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A familiar feeling

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of a Black Sails challenge between [Sweety_Mutant](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweety_Mutant/pseuds/Sweety_Mutant) and me. You can read hers [there](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6188572/chapters/14179048)!
> 
> Rules: Seven sentences were picked up on this [dialogue generator](http://writingexercises.co.uk/dialogue-generator.php). Each chapter/part must have one of them in it (in the order we want) and be less than 1000 words.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Black Sails or its characters. I simply use them for my own pleasure. :)

After his discussion with Billy last night, John knew that things would go badly if he did not find a solution soon. But he did not feel he had the strength to settle things. Flint did not listen to him, and he had feared for some time now that if he tried to oppose him too strongly, he would lose everything he had left in the process: the support of the crew, the last bit of his pride, and also his life. He had no advantage here. Physically or mentally, he simply was no match for this man…

John was on the forecastle, leaning on the bulwark, watching the horizon. The sea was peaceful, unconcerned by their fate. How many days—weeks—had the ship been drifting now? Jesus, they were all going to die here… In addition to the obvious food shortage, it was becoming harder and harder to protect the crew from Flint’s madness. John had tried to interfere when the captain had evoked making a list dividing those that would get rations and those that would not… and he had failed… once again… as everything he did lately… So, really, how did Billy expect him to be able to change anything in his condition? Becoming an equal to Captain fucking Flint… What a joke! He had been a fool to think otherwise before! And even if by some miracle he succeeded, he would probably die from this, way faster than the two others to have taken this role… It was just a dead end…

“Well, well. Are you not tired to feel sorry for yourself? I certainly don’t want to be you right now,” said an enthusiastic and mocking voice next to him.

John frowned and turned his eyes from the sea to glare at whoever was interrupting his thoughts. But he frowned even more when he saw the carefree face smiling to him.

“Am I dreaming?” he asked, confused.

The man laughed slightly, his blue eyes shining with amusement. He was standing back to the sea, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed. “Let’s just say Billy may have been right to press you to take your rations. Foolish move on your part to skip it, if you want my opinion.”

Great… Now he was hallucinating… It just got better and better! What was the next part of his joke of a life?

“Oh, don’t be so bitter. Given the circumstances…” The fucking illusion looked intently to his missing leg. “… you’re doing pretty well, don’t you think? Quartermaster. I like the sound of it.”

John rolled his eyes. The nuisance only smiled more, going on with his tirade, “Well, yes, there are some little tensions between the captain and you. But it’s to be expected. You penetrated his men’s minds in no time and got their support, making you the second most powerful man on this ship. He consciously fears that you could do the same with him, which he cannot permit. But that’s not the only thing that stops you, right? You’re afraid too. By this man, by the dark feelings into him.”

John did not answer that. He took his eyes off this arrogant vision of the past, hoping it would suffice to make it disappear.

“You shouldn’t worry so much, you know? Come on, get this stick out of your ass. We’re fine. We’ll get through this, as we always did.”

This time, John could not help but laugh. A resentful laugh. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!” he exclaimed in a whisper, well aware that the crew would be worried if they heard him talk to himself. He gripped the bulwark more firmly, as he added, “‘Fine’ is so far from describing our situation that this fucking word should be forbidden on this ship!”

“Don’t you think you’re a bit overreacting here?”

Still with the carefree attitude… John let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head to clear his mind. “Why am I even arguing with a hallucination?”

“Good question!” The cunning man slid nearer to him, almost coming into contact with him. Then, he started to speak in a confident tone, “Why am I here, do you think? To remind you what it’s like to be you. Despite your strong desire to live, what drove you into this? _A good opportunity_. You can’t see it and not to take it. The fear for pain, for death, it never stopped you before. You just do everything you can to get what you want.”

He closed his eyes and sighed again. A long, tired sigh, this time. “That’s different now…”

“Why? Because of a missing limb? You still have your brain. Use it.”

“And what if it doesn’t work?” He knew how desperate, how weak he sounded. To anybody else, he would not show it. But it was just an illusion.

“ _There is always a way_. You said so,” the man told him—and he could imagine the gentle smile on his face as he talked. “You already understand Captain Flint. You played him in the past, and you took no credit for it. Prove yourself to him. Don’t fear the consequences. If you don’t act now, you’ll die. Everybody will die. Is it what you want?”

At that, John opened his eyes and looked at the vision again. “Of course not.”

“Then, you know what you have to do. Don’t seek more excuses. Become what Flint needs you to be. Become a partner to him. For the crew’s sake. And for yours.”

With these words, his old self began to dissipate before his eyes, his tan skin and curly black hair becoming so transparent that John could see through it.

“Oh, and take your rations.” A wink and a smile. “I’m serious. You’ll need it.”

Then, he was alone again. But somehow he had gotten something from this insane conversation. His determination was back. He would surely find a way. Soon. If someone could, it was him!

**Author's Note:**

> The sentence used for this part was: "Are you kidding me? We're not 'fine'!"  
> Phew... Well, it was hard again... ^^' I'm not sure exactly how it came to this, but I hope it's believable.  
> If you liked it, you can let me know with a kudo or a comment. See you soon for the next part.


End file.
